It's been a few days since my last post. I had a few floating thoughts but nothing concrete. While speaking with my dentist today I questioned something about myself. Do I feel that I have an upper-hand in comparison to my fellow program participants when it comes to adapting to a foreign culture/environment? I mean, I know absolutely nothing about these people, other than they are all pre-med or med students. I don't know what they studied for their undergrads, or where they've traveled to before. I have never left the country, except for that one day in Mexico. And yet, I have this preconception that I would cope better with the culture shock than they would...I am a little bit startled from discovering this about myself. I have no foundation from which to base these pre-, and possibly mis-, conceptions about the other participants in comparison to myself. After all, what do I know about them? Nothing. And what do I know about myself? I tend to be shy in the beginning. I don't like being alone in unfamiliar places. I tend to get homesick after five days of being somewhere. I don't like situations I can't escape from. I don't sleep well in beds other than my own, or while traveling. I don't like sharing a room because I feel I need a place where I can retreat from people and just have me-time.
All of this has been true for me in the past and I have absolutely no doubt that I will encounter all of these while in India, and yet I am not afraid. My excitement and unease have only solidified my determination to take each of these situations and conquer them. I will face each one as it comes, every time it comes. I feel that if I were to accept my reality, instead of expecting things to be as they were (are) back home, I will have a smoother transition to the lifestyle I will be living during my stay. This idea of accepting my reality, being malleable to change, comforts me.
When in India, do as the Indians do.
I have also come to grips with the very real possibility that my mind will have to be that quiet place I can retreat to, if need be, and writing this journal/blog will be my me-time. And I'm okay with this.
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